{Fixing Yourself update} Just One Thing

I had a bad day last week.  I have a lot of bad days, to be honest - starting life over again after divorce is exhausting - but one day in particular was exceptionally hard.

Of course, that's the day I headed to the bookstore.  The bookstore and library are usually my sanctuary, the place I go to breathe deeply, relax, and take a step away from anything that's going on in the world outside.  I find that when I'm teetering on the edge of major anxiety attacks, this is the one place that will keep me grounded (other than a small town pub with a live band and a lot of alcohol, of course).

"This is fucking perfect, " I panted, leaning on the shelf in the 'Well Being' section in the throes of a major panic attack, attempting to calm myself down before I drew too much attention.

Don't mind me, just another woman having a break down in front of You Can Fix Your Life by Dr. Phil.  The irony is not lost on me.

I eventually managed to pull myself together, locate this months Fixing Yourself (Without Whiskey) title, and scurry back to my car.

Moral of the story?  The timing for me to read a "Self Help" book is dead on.

My first impression of Just One Thing: Developing A Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time by Rick Hanson is pretty simple - it's a small, easy to read book.  It's broken down into 52 mind exercises, which I'm reading two or three of a day.  Well, that's the plan, anyway - so far I've accomplished reading only one a day.

The first part is about being good to yourself.  I kind of thought drinking myself to oblivion was being good to myself, but whatevs.  I've read the first four practices thus far, and so far I've learned the following:

1.  I'm not my own friend, most of the time.  After reading the section on this, it's made me aware of how much of a shitty friend I am to myself.  So now I'm aware of it, but that's it.  I think that makes me an even shittier friend to myself.

2.  Take a few seconds to enjoy the feeling of the small good things - this is a fantastic premise, and one I agree with.  Then the author spurted off some lame and corny analogies, like ".. a warm glow spreading through the chest like the warmth of a cup of hot cocoa on a cold wintery day.  "

Right.  Eyes rolled.

3.  Compassion to yourself - acknowledge difficulties, challenges and suffering.  Again, fantastic.  I'm kick ass for leaving a man that didn't value me enough to respect me.  Right?  But yet again, off we go with the laaaaaaaaame sentences like ".. visualize a light radiating from you, maybe from your heart.  "

Eyes rolled, whiskey poured.

4.  Relax.  Breathe.  breathing exercises.  deep breaths.  The usual.

So far, I'm not feeling very fixed.  I'm feeling like I need a drink.

Or five.

Fixing Yourself Without Whiskey #1 - Just One Thing

Well, you voted.  I'm actually a little surprised how the votes turned out - you guys chose such a NORMAL book for me!  And might I say, an easy one?  Do I have to tame my inner bitch for the good of the world?  No (I think I just heard my neighbours sigh).  Do I need to Add More Ing, while not knowing what the fuck "Ing" is?  No.  All I gots to do is think some zen, Buddha-like thoughts.

Piece O' Cake, my lovelies.

"This book offers simple brain-training practices you can do every day to protect against stress, lift your mood, and find greater emotional resilience.  "

It's like you guys are telling me I need to cheer the fuck up.

This book is meant to be read in a few different ways - it's broken into 52 "simple" practices that the reader can either do by sections, or once a week, etc.

I like to go against the grain and am a big fan of instant gratification, so I'll be doing things a bit differently.  I'll read one practice a day (sometimes two), and each week will do a quickish summary.  At the end of the month, I'll roll all of my experiences into one general review.  Namely, did the book have an effect on this cynical redhead, or did I pass out mid-enlightenment in a whiskey haze?

Only time will tell.

Fixing Yourself Without Whiskey #1 - VOTING

Let's be honest - we all at least browse the 'Self Help' section once in awhile, don't we?  While I don't usually read any of the books (I prefer to self medicate with sarcasm, bitterness and whiskey - which means  I'm clearly perfectly fine), some of the titles look interesting.  Some even look ... helpful.  Huh.  Whoddathunk it?

While browsing the section recently, and making snarky inner comments about the book in my hand (I can't remember what it was, but it might have been The Secret), I realized that what the Self Help section (actually called "Relationships & Well Being" now, to make us feel less broken, I'm sure) needs is someone to tell you if it's bullshit or not.

I'm about as broken as they come - I'm not even divorced yet, I'm in my thirties, I miss my no-good ex husband, I eat too much Taco Bell, I just spent the last eight months living on my parents pull out couch, and I don't understand why I can't just drown my sorrows by either drinking too much Jack or sleeping with too many Jacks.  I, my friends, am the Relationship & Well Being prime demographic.  

Welcome to the newest monthly feature of Whiskey and Books - Fixing Yourself Without Whiskey.

I've narrowed the choices for the March pick down to three titles.  You need to VOTE for which one you want me to be the guinea pig for!  I'll spend March reading it, while giving weekly updates, and an overall experience review at the end of the month.  Voting ends in only a week, and only votes on the soon to be posted widget on the side of the blog or comments on this post count.  

THE CHOICES

Add More Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness by Gabrielle Bernstein

From the publisher:

Discover the thirty-day -ing Equation to sharpen your intuitive senses and activate untapped inspirations!

Lots of people are selling "happiness" these days, but in her hip self-transformation book, Add More -ing to Your Life, motivational speaker and life coach Gabrielle Bernstein truly shows you how to make happiness a way of life by accessing your -ing—your Inner Guide. In her thirty-day -ing Equation, Gabrielle will show you how to bulldoze negative thought patterns and create personal change through positive affirmations, physical activity, and visualization meditations. Get prepared to change your life by accessing a state of "flow" to help you connect with your -ing. You'll release your negativity and choose happiness!

(I'm already rolling my eyes at the Ing gimmick)

Just One Thing: Developing A Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time by Rick Hanson

From the publisher:

You've heard the expression, "It's the little things that count." Research has shown that little daily practices can change the way your brain works, too. This book offers simple brain-training practices you can do every day to protect against stress, lift your mood, and find greater emotional resilience. Just One Thing is a treasure chest of over fifty practices created specifically to deepen your sense of well-being and unconditional happiness. Just one practice each day can help you: Be good to yourself - Enjoy life as it is - Build on your strengths - Be more effective at home and work - Make peace with your emotions.

(Do I need to mention what other "one thing" helps?  There's actually a few.  Sex.  Whiskey.  Snark. )

Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want!) by Christy Whitman and Rebecca Grado

From the publisher:

In many areas women have earned the equality we’ve been fighting for. We’ve broken through glass ceilings and achieved great success. We’ve shown that we can prosper by our own means. And we’ve become influential, respected leaders. Yet many of us find ourselves unhappy, anxious, overwhelmed. Where’s the pot of gold at the end of our “I can do it just like a man” rainbow?

The problem is that while we can be as successful as a man, we don’t get there through a masculine approach. Being a “damsel in distress” is not the way to make your dreams come true, but neither is being the hyper-aggressive Alpha Bitch.In this groundbreaking book, transformation leaders Christy Whitman and Rebecca Grado reveal how when women try to claim power through a forceful “take no prisoners” approach it ultimately works against us and undermines our best efforts to create the life of our dreams. In fact, wielding Alpha Bitch force is ironically disempowering, because it introduces conflict, struggle, and competition into our personal and professional relationships, blocking women from creating the life we desire.How do you change from being a controlling, competitive, and disruptive Alpha Bitch to being an Empowered Female who is allowing, collaborative, and balanced? 
Enter the Laws of the Universe: 
The Law of Attraction
The Law of Allowing
The Law of Pure Potentiality
The Law of Oneness
The Law of Balance and Harmony
The Law of Sufficiency and Abundance
Taming Your Alpha Bitch will show you how to use these laws to create freedom, joy, and abundance in your life. By using this knowledge, you put yourself in the ideal position for attracting those things you want with ease and effortlessness, not struggle and pain.

(I'm what I liked to call an introverted Alpha.  Figure that one out)

So - what'll it be, folks?  Remember to comment to this post or vote on the widget to the side, and HURRY UP because voting on how to fix my issues ends next Wednesday February 22.