There's a lot of things in life that don't appeal to me. Ex husbands. Living in a huge city like Toronto (the suburbs of the GTA were even too close). Hipster men in skinny jeans. Math. Sushi. Michael Buble. Working a real job. Exercise. Kids.
Some women have a very hard time understanding that I don't have a desire for kids. I never really did, although people told me that once I got married and settled down, that would change. Well, I got married. I even settled down. I still didn't want kids (OMG THE HORROR), even though my ex husband wanted them more than anything (except monthly girlfriends. He probably wanted a new flavour of the month more than anything, to be honest).
Now people tell me it's because I didn't meet the RIGHT guy. Uh huh. Yeah, that's convienent.
The truth of the matter is that while I think kids are hella cute, and love my neices more than they'll ever know, the actual lifestyle that comes along with kids isn't for me. I'm just getting to the point in my life where I'm not only living it for me, but I'm capable of living it for me.
Plus, let's be honest - I'd be a shitty mom. The only reason I can handle two crazy dogs is because they nap for about six hours of the day. And because they don't judge me if I forget to feed them lunch (well, they probably do, I just can't hear them). If I had kids, they'd be the ones in class that YOUR kids call stinky and don't want to sit next to. I'm doing the world a favour, really.
Night Road
by Kristin Hannah has a strong motherhood element to it, which in itself doesn't usually appeal to me. But a few lines on the back cover piqued my interest:"Vivid, universal, and emotionally complex, Night Road
raises profound questions about motherhood, identity, love and forgiveness. It is a luminous, heartbreaking novel that captures both the exquisite pain of loss and the stunning power of hope. "I may not know a lot about motherhood (ask my brother about the time I babysat my nieces and had to google how to put on a diaper ... and still had it on the poor girl backwards), but I may know a thing or two about losing your identity, and the power of hope. Count me in.
I have 3 kids. I love my kids. Having said that, I completely understand what you are saying and admire the fact that just because society seems to dictate that "since you are female you must want kids", you know better than anyone what you want.
ReplyDeleteI work in an office and I am surprised by the married and single co-workers that also don't want kids. I have married friends are very loving and yet, still no desire for kids.
Power to you and for being a strong enough female to know exactly what you do want.
Trust me, there are plenty of folks out there that should have been as smart as you!
I'm 25 and still sorting out my life, so I can definitely see where you're coming from. I don't even know if I want kids yet. Some of my friends from high school are married and have three or four by now. One is on her second marriage with three sons and she's only 24. I hate that society assumes that all women must want kids. Several of my aunts and uncles don't have any kids. More power to them!
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Megan @ Book Brats